White coat. Heels.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i think we sleep fucked last night...
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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