:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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