omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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