i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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