May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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