Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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