Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
