we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
