Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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