she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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