if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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