one might say we're banned from that church
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
