At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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