Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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