love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize