maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize