Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
