God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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