i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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