If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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