Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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