Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
