Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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