he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
