I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
