Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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