i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
