Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
