Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize