last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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