Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
