So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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