you're like a bully in the Christmas story
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
soo... how was my night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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