I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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