Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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