You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
