that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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