I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
