Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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