uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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