Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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