I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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