Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
