You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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