I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
