you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
