she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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