just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
