Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
