No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
