He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
