did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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