First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
