He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
