Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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