She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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